Cashier: “Buying some cheese, huh?”
Me: “That’s right.”
Cashier: “I love cheese. I just seriously love cheese. Do you know how much cheese I could eat?”
Me: “No.”
Cashier: “I could eat so much cheese. Last night, at like midnight, I was just sitting there with a block of cheddar cheese. I didn’t even have a knife. I was […]
Andy Rooney: Knock-knock.
Who’s there?
Andy Rooney: A cell phone.
“A cell phone,” who?
Andy Rooney: I, personally, have never owned a cell phone, even though I get mail every single day from companies interested in my business. Here’s a letter from Sprint. And here’s one from Verizon. And here’s one from U.S. Cellular. And here’s one from […]
Sorry I haven’t been posting here very much. Instead, I’ve been playing a lot of flash-based Internet Pac Man. Most mornings and nights, actually. Like, when I wake up in the AM, when I’m still kind of sleepy, and right before sleepy-time in the PM.
I’m pretty good, but not great. And I’ll tell you […]
Me: “Can I ask you a question?”
Guy: “You already did.”
Me: ( )
Guy: ( )
Me: “Seriously, though, can I ask you a question?”
Guy: “You already did.”
Pirate: “Arr! I see land in the distance. We must prepare for a battle!”
Parrot: “Um …”
*****
Pirate: “Avast, mates! It is the time to make our names. By nightfall, we will prevail. I have the map here. If we become separated, reconvene at the rock that’s shaped like a skeleton!”
Parrot: “Uh …”
*****
Pirate: “Yes, we will take […]
