I sat in Dolores Park today, reading the newest issue of FOUND Magazine (#5), which is dedicated to crime/criminals and jail. Apparently, Davy Rothbart and the FOUND crew get a ton of letters from prisoners and – in turn – offer free issues to anybody serving time. In Davy’s words:

Enormous thanks to everyone who has contributed to our FOUND-to-prisons program!! Your generous donations have allowed us to continue to send magazines to inmates who request them. Each copy of FOUND gets passed around to dozens upon dozens of readers behind bars, so even a small contribution makes a huge difference in many people’s lives! Please send in any money you find on the ground … 3455 Charing Cross, Ann Arbor, MI, 48108.

I was reminded of the occasion, a couple of years ago in Berkeley, when I was walking down Shattuck Ave. and found $20 in a crosswalk. I remember being on the phone with my mom and exclaiming, “Hey! I just found $20 in the crosswalk!” This always-busy city street … and nobody was around. I looked for the rightful owner but there were no rightful owners frantically looking for a dropped bill. It was very exciting. I was on my way to work, twenty dollars richer, a good start to the day.

I should mention that it was also Halloween. Also: I didn’t yet have a costume. Also: I was in charge of organizing a Halloween party, for which I would need a costume. I figured I would just hit up the dollar store and find something simple at lunch – a lifeguard or cowboy deal or something. That turned out to be lousier than I expected, so I mistakenly went to a Halloween store, where I paid almost exactly $20 for a vampire suit, maybe even more after tax. It was difficult to put in my basket (shame) and even more difficult to purchase (lame), but there were kids coming to my party and I kept thinking, “It’s for the kids … it’s for the kids … the kids … it’s for them … just remember that, yes, you’re paying $20 for a vampire costume — maybe even more after tax — and you’ll never wear it again and it’s not even that cool and nobody will really be impressed or laugh and you don’t even really know how to do a good vampire voice and it might even come across as slightly creepy … but think of the children … those children … the kids … that’s who this whole deal is for … you’re going to be a damn vampire and you’re going to like it.” And so on and so forth, until I tried on the costume back at work and it was beyond too small. Beyond. Somehow, I missed the fine print where it said, “This is for eight-year-old vampires” or some shit.

I mentioned that this costume was nonrefundable, correct? Those Halloween emporiums! Those little scams that set up shop on October 1 and take it all down on November 1. They run quite the racket. I had used my crosswalk money to fund absolutely nothing except for the semi-carnies who ran the semi-store. Later, an eight-year-old arrived at the festivities without having dressed up and I asked him if he’d like a vampire suit, free of charge, just to join in the fun. He declined. I couldn’t even give it away. I put it in the lost & found and the outfit was eventually donated to Mission Thrift Store, where it’s probably still sitting on a shelf, cowering in the daylight, which is a vampire reference, because vampires only come out at night. Get it?

I think all of this is to say, I could’ve found a better use for my found cash.

So here’s a neat little coincidence and the crux of my day, today: After the park-reading, as I was walking up my street to go home, a guy ran up behind me yelling, “Sir! Sir!” Cynical-City-Me readied for the worst. You never know what you’re going to get from those “Sir! Sir!” declarations. But this guy was smiling and holding out $6 in my direction. “You just dropped this!” he said, and gave me my $6 back. All I could manage to say was, “Wow! Thanks!” “Don’t mention it,” he said and kept walking. I thought, “Maybe I should give him a reward. What’s 20-percent of 6?” But he was already up the street, a six-doller-returner come & gone.

I was sort of all of these things at once: a.) humbled b.) happy c.) embarrassed. Six dollars and he came running up behind me to give it back. How nice is that?

Essentially, it’s found money. And I know where I’ll be sending it.