I was talking to Avery a little while ago and told him that I always feel like I’m either getting better from being sick or getting sick again, that there’s not a whole lot of in-between time. He told me that the idea is to maximize your getting better time until you become superhuman, then part of the elite group of humans who will never die: the undying. That’s why I’ve decided to employ Avery as my doctor. I like what he says a lot more than the Kaiser Schmoes, which is a group of condescending, unhelpful schmoes who work at Kaiser (Oakland, but it might as where be Anywhereland).

I’m feeling ill: it’s the Flu, I think, capital F, little l and u. Here’s a good example of flu-like behavior from my day: So I was standing up this morning and all of a sudden I felt like a fetal position on the floor might be way easier for me to exist inside of. My aching-everything was like “Hey hey!” and I was all “Oh … uh … ,” and it was like “What’s up?” and I was like “Not much” and it was all “We should go home” and I was going “But what about work?” and it said “But what about you?” I made it through the day, but only in a dazed, weakened, feverish state where I kept mistaking a kid named Christian for a kid named Miguel.

And now I’m on my bed and it’s raining outside and it’s 9:05 and I was watching Ricky Gervais meets Larry David on YouTube, which was funny, but now I barely have the energy to finish this sentence. (Note: I thought about writing, “ … but now I barely have the energy to finish this sen …” but thought the better of it.)

Sick log out!